Being friends with benefits can be extremely confusing because it blurs the lines between just hanging out and a real relationship. If you two act like best friends and sleep together, it can be hard to spot the difference. The closer the friendship, the more difficult it is to figure out where the other person’s true feelings lie. I’m here to help you navigate the difficult world of modern dating whether that means decoding how someone really feels, getting someone to commit to you, or finding love online.
So, let’s get into it. What separates friends with benefits from a real relationship? Is it possible to transition from one to another? Well, that depends on the current state of the relationship. Your answer depends on whether or not your “friend” is showing the signs on this list: –
Here are some points on More Than Friends With Benefits But Not a Relationship
More Than Friends With Benefits But Not a Relationship number 1 point. You talk to them every day having a friendship with benefits can make it extremely difficult to maintain healthy boundaries. It’s for this reason that many people keep their FWBs at arm’s length to avoid catching feelings. So, if you two talk every day then this is a sign that the lines have become blurred, and you may be more than just friends with benefits.
The thing to look for is who is reaching out first Is it extremely one sided? This suggests that whoever is making the first move is the one catching feeling while the other one may just be being polite. If this is your situation, consider taking a step back for a few days and see if they reach out to you.
More Than Friends With Benefits But Not a Relationship number 2 point. You haven’t talked about it Friends with benefits is typically something you enter into knowingly but sometimes it just happens. If you two haven’t discussed your situation, then there’s a good chance that one or both of you is confused about what you’re doing. Maybe they’re under the impression that this is a more romantic relationship.
Maybe you think it’s just about the sex. The problem here is that neither of you want to rock the boat and risk screwing this up by putting it into words. While this is potentially treacherous, it’s also a good sign that you two are enjoying yourselves or you wouldn’t be so afraid to put a label on it.
More Than Friends With Benefits But Not a Relationship number 3 point. You don’t talk about other people One of the hallmarks of a romantic relationship is trying to show the other person that you’re interested in them and only them. This is why many people will be careful when it comes to discussing other people, for fear of making their partner jealous.
Obviously, the rules here are very different depending on your particular relationship and your level of intimacy, but the rule here stands: if your FWB is bending over backwards not to mention anyone else, especially single people they might desire, this is a huge sign that they’re more serious about you than they’re letting on. Conversely, if you two are constantly shooting the shit about sexy people and all the dates you’re going on, this suggests that they really do see you as a purely platonic sexual partner.
More Than Friends With Benefits But Not a Relationship number 4 point. You catch them being loving this one is not always as easy to spot but when you notice it, you can’t unseen it. Is your FWB being a little more loving lately? Do they give you butterflies? Are they extra complimentary? Do they treat you more tenderly than you ‘reused to? Bingo, those are all signs that they see you as more than just a FWB.
More Than Friends With Benefits But Not a Relationship number 5 point. Things are different when you’re intimate If you two started off animalistic in the bedroom and things have turned more tender and intimate then this may be a sign that you’ve become more than just friends with benefits. So, pay attention the next time you two hit the sheets. Do they pay attention to your needs and not just their own? Are they putting your pleasure first in the bedroom? And this goes for the post-sex period as well. Do you two cuddles more often? Do they smile more and bigger than they used to? Think about it.
More Than Friends With Benefits But Not a Relationship number 6 point. They ask the deep questions A common pattern with friends with benefits is that you keep it pretty shallow. This can prevent catching feelings and blurring these lines. So, if you’re supposed friend is suddenly very interested in your innermost thoughts and feelings, then there’s a very good chance that this is starting to develop into a full-fledged relationship.
More Than Friends With Benefits But Not a Relationship number 7 point. They get jealous Jealousy is a sign of possessiveness which is basically him telling you “You’re mine “without ever coming out and saying it. This is a great window into someone’s true feelings that they probably don’t even admit to themselves. So, if you mention going on a date with someone else or even that you find someone attractive see how they react. If they try to change the subject, get mad or leave the room, even if they say it’s not about that, this is a pretty strong indicator that they’re uncomfortable hearing about your love life because they wish they were at the center of it.
More Than Friends With Benefits But Not a Relationship number 8 point. it’s not only about sexed many people use the term “friends with benefits “when what they really mean is someone they hook up with. If you see things start to lean more towards friendship than sex, then you’ll know that your relationship is becoming something more serious. For example, do you have hangouts that don’t end in sex? Do they message you just to talk about your day and connect with you? Is sex your main point of connection or is there something more?
More Than Friends With Benefits But Not a Relationship number 9 point. You’ve both stopped sleeping around If your FWB situation has become exclusive then this is a great sign that you’ve evolved into something more. This is the case even if you two haven’t talked about it or made it “official. “This is a sign that you’re both meeting one another’s needs, so you don’t feel the need to date anyone else.
Of course, this isn’t a guarantee of exclusivity. Remember, you two have never actually talked about it. There’s still a good chance that the two of you are just both going through a “dry spell” so don’t be surprised if they end up dating someone else out of nowhere.
More Than Friends With Benefits But Not a Relationship number 10 point. They do romantic things for you As a general rule, friends with benefits don’t do romantic things for each other so if he gives you flowers, showers you with affection and takes you out on nice dates, that’s not your friend, that’s boyfriend territory.
More Than Friends With Benefits But Not a Relationship number 11 point. They’ve never been in a relationship before This is less an indicator of where you two are at and more of an explanation for why you two aren’t official despite how close you may be. People who have never been in a proper relationship are often reluctant to take that next step and make it official. This is either because they have something preventing them from being a good partner, or their inexperience has made them nervous to ask you. They may even think that you’d reject them so they’re staying in relationship limbo to avoid this kind of situation.
More Than Friends With Benefits But Not a Relationship number 12 point. They want to hang out during the day I’m not talking about afternoon delight here. If they want to spend time with you outside of the bedroom in a public place, then that’s pretty much a date and that changes thing. Maybe they want to see what you’d be like outside of the bedroom or maybe they ‘retrying to tell you that they’d like to see what a real relationship with you might be like.
So, these are the best indicators that your FWB situation has evolved into something more, but the story doesn’t end there. What should you do if you want to take the next step? How can you let them know that you’re interested in changing your relationship status and trying out something a little more romantic and a little less platonic? Well first off, a word of warning here. No matter how many of these signs this person is showing, this is far from a sure thing. Let’s look at a 2020 study around friends with benefits.
The researchers profiled people who had formerly been in FWB relationships. They asked what outcome they had been hoping for and what the outcome eventually was. They found the following: “Those who were the LEAST likely to see the relationship outcome they wanted were those who had said they wanted it to transition into romance — only 15%of those who wanted romance to saw it happen. “This is something to be aware of before you get too invested in your friends with benefits situation.
If this person is not looking to get serious with you, you have to look at why. Do they not want a relationship? Do they not want YOU? In either case, your outcome doesn’t look good. But don’t lose hope entirely. If they’re exhibiting many of the sign son this list, then you’re in a good position to see if they’re ready to take things to the next level. First off, I’d recommend you try to display some of these signs back to them if you haven’t already. This means you need to invite them to hangout outside of the bedroom.
Text them more often Treat them less platonically and more romantically and see what happens. From there, if things are still unclear, unfortunately communication may be your only option. First you need to really figure out what you ‘relooking for. Do you want them to be your boyfriend or girlfriend? Do you think that you two could potentially have a future together? Sit them down and discuss this situation with them and see if they might feel the same way. Don’t put a ton of pressure on them in this moment.
No one likes an ultimatum and if you make this a huge confrontation it’s bound to scare someone off, especially the kind of commitment phobic people who tend to seek out FWB relationships. But do make it clear that you’re interested in seeing if you two might be compatible on another level. Then leave the ball in their court. I know, it’s a scary conversation to have because it might screw everything up. But it could also be the start of something amazing.