3 Harsh Facts Long-Distance Relationships Why Relationships Fail and How to Avoid Them What is your idea of a long-distance relationship? While, in reality, it’s one of the most challenging types of commitment, many young couples today believe that being in a Long Distance Relationship sounds more romantic and exciting than its typical and more traditional counterpart. If you’re in a long-distance relationship right now, the best thing you can do is learn from the lessons of others’ mistakes – but where should you start? Here are some of the top reasons Long-Distance Relationship fail, and some inspiring tip son how to avoid them:
3 Harsh Facts Long-Distance Relationships
1. Emotional immaturity sometimes it’s not your fault that you’re not yet ready for a Long Distance Relationship. Most young couples don’t survive a long-distance relationship because of the lack of maturity to deal with this kind of commitment’s more complex and often unpredictable nature. What you can do: You have to know yourself and be honest: are you ready for a long-distance relationship, or would it be better to say goodbye? Do you think it’s a kinder choice to let go and have faith that if you’re meant for each other, fate will find a way?
A. High levels of insecurity. You have a lot of insecurities that often affect how you view yourself as a person. If you’re insecure, you lack the confidence to trust your partner that they will keep their promise and that they’ll stay loyal to you simply because you’re worth it. What you can do: Love yourself more and if you can’t do that, try to help yourself see your true worth. But, first, you have to believe that you deserve the love that others are giving you.
B. Impatience and negative thinking. Negative thinking can significantly damage a relationship and being in a Long Distance Relationship is not the perfect place to choose pessimism over optimism. Combined with the inability to stay patient, you’ll get a complete formula for failure. What you can do: Remember that good thing come to those who wait and those who know how to look forward to better and happier days. Then, again, believe that everything will be okay, especially when it matters the most.
2. Fear towards changes. You’re always stuck in your comfort zone and you’re too afraid to get out of it. You fear changes and do anything to stay where you are because you believe that that is the only place where you can’t get hurt. Unfortunately, this attitude will eventually affect your relationship, especially if you’re miles away from each other. What you can do: Learn to take risks and be open to new things and experiences, especially if you’re in a Long-Distance Relationship. Everything will change and if you’re too scared to even just react to these changes, you can’t fully live and enjoy what life and love offer.
A. Inability to admit mistakes you don’t believe in apologies and think that saying sorry for something you did is a sign of weakness. But, unfortunately, in a long-distance relationship, there’s a big possibility that you’ll often fight especially during the first months of it – and this is such a crucial stage that often leads to most breakups. What you can do: Let your guard down and say sorry. It can’t be that hard to apologize Remember that you’re not just lovers but also best friends. You can tell them anything, and they won’t judge you or hate you for it.
B. Self-centeredness and selfishness. You don’t value your significant other’s feelings and you always only think about yourself. What’s worse is that you always abandon ship and run away whenever there are problems to save your own heart from getting broken. What you can do: You are in a relationship, and you should do your part as a partner. Love and take care of them without asking anything in return. Always put them first and trust me, they’ll gladly and genuinely do the same for you – because that’s what love is supposed to be.
3. Self-pity and lack of self-love You always think that it’s your fault whenever things go wrong. You have extremely low self-esteem and you often think the worse about yourself. With this attitude, you always give up on your relationship, even at the slightest trigger. You don’t value yourself that much and think your partner doesn’t deserve someone weak and imperfect. What you can do: Never forget that your significant other chose you for a reason. To them, you’re precious and beautiful – and it doesn’t matter if you’re not perfect. They chose you because they love you and they have found something special in you.
A. Lack of faith in happy endings you didn’t think that the Long-Distance Relationship would work in the first place. Even at the beginning of it all, you already have a fixed image in your mind that these will all fall apart, not because you don’t love them but because you’re convinced that happy endings don’t exist. What you can do: Just do your part as a lover, a friend, and a partner. But then, let destiny decide because it’s so unfair to your partner if you’ve already given up the fight even before it even started.
B. The absence of genuine love. You don’t love your partner, and you’re just not strong enough to tell them that. You think that your relationship was only good because you have something to gain until it all changes. You think more of how a Long-Distance Relationship can be complicated and exhausting than focusing on making it work. What you can do: Either you learn how to love your partner genuinely or you’ll give them the kindness to set them free. Whatever you do, do it because it’s right.
By realizing what you did wrong and knowing what you can do about it, you’re one step closer to achieving a happier and a more stable long-distance relationship. It would help if you kept in mind, however, that no relationship is perfect. There will always be obstacles and difficulties along the way. Nevertheless, stay strong and true to your promises to each other, and nothing can ever take away your happy ending. “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
8 Tips for Long Distance Relationships
In this blog, I wanted to share with you guys 8 tips on long distance relationships. To preface, there isn’t a silver bullet to all relationship scenarios. People are random, and therefore, relationship scan be too. Some people may do things that work for their relationship, but it may not necessarily work for others. So just take that with a grain of salt. However, at the most fundamental level, there are key things that every relationship should have in order to maintain a healthy and working relationship.
Since you won’t be with your partner physically, it’s important to keep your communication consistent in order to keep your emotional connection thriving. There will be some days where you will only be able to text one another, which is better than nothing. The goal is to never go a day without talking to one another. Figure out which kind of communication both of you guys like. Whether that’s using Snap chat, Texting Facetiming Or just talking over the phone.
Communicate that with one another and see what works for you guys. Second, figure out what your schedules are like and how to work around them. You want to find a time that works for both of you, where you don’t feel pressured or rushed so that you can just enjoy your time talking to one another. That way, you will always be able to make time for each other without any confusion or unmet expectations.
Even if you start off the long distance strong, it’s important to check in with one another and to see how you both are doing with the distance. One person may be doing well in the relationship, while the other person may be having a hard time coping. Being open and sharing the intricacies of your life, no matter how significant or insignificant, builds greater trust, communication, and deeper connections with your significant other. Whether it’s just communicating what you did that day what you ate that day who you talked to or how you felt.
It paints a clearer picture for your significant other in order to help you along the way. It’s also important to share your emotions, whether you are sad or happy. Or you are frustrated. It’s important not to bottle up your emotions because often, it creates uncertainty and miscommunication in the relationship. So, remember, you partner cannot read your mind at all times! So, the best thing you can do is be transparent and be open.
We live in a society where we are accustomed to convenience and instant gratification. Whether they are instant replies through text or email, overnight shipping on Amazon, calling an Uber within minutes or just getting a bunch of likes on Instagram to boost those serotonin levels. I agree these things make our lives a lot easier but with anything good, including relationships, it takes time, and it takes patience.
Patience will help you develop a strong and healthy relationship. Long distance relationships are the ultimate test of patience. Many of you who are in the military or have a significant other in the military definitely know how frustrating it can be. And it may not be easy at first but over time, you will get better. My advice is to keep track of how long you have been together but not necessarily how long you have been apart. Counting down the days or just checking the calendar often will make the time pass along much slower.
4. Unconditional trust
This goes along the same lines of being transparent. Have faith and confidence in your relationship and in your significant other. Believe that your relationship will withstand the test of time no matter the obstacles you will face. It also means taking your significant other’s word when they tell you something, trusting they are doing the right thing, and not letting others dictate your relationship.
Trusting your significant other also means giving them their personal space. If you’re constantly creeping on them, checking on their social media, it means you have less trust in them and therefore, your relationship. With this, ensure you actually know your significant other well enough before blindly trusting them without any recourse. Remember: Trust but verify.
5. Make an active effort
Don’t forget to put in the effort to making each other feel special. Just because you’re apart doesn’t mean you lose the need for desire, intimacy, or self-esteem. Make each other feel special and take every single opportunity to make each other feel good. And encourage each other to do the same. Something special you could do is write a hand-written love letter.
Maybe even send them flowers or candy to their workplace. You can also send care packages with things they need (or like). Or if they are spending a night in, maybe order them some pizza to their house. Treat them out with a nail and spa package with their friends. Or secretly buy a plane ticket and surprise them on the other side of the country. Whatever it is – remember, it is the thought goes into it and the effort make of making each other feel special.
Tip #6. Reminding your significant other you love them, and you mean it EVERY SINGLE TIME You may think saying “I Love You” loses its meaning over months or years but I think it’s a powerful affirmation. Your partner will have days where they feel tired, exhausted, or defeated in their personal and professional life. If you care about someone and you love them, it’s important to let them know and they will reciprocate. And sometimes, that’s all they need to hear in order to feel appreciated and valued by the person they love.
It will also give them a level of comfort and security that everyone wants to feel in any relationship.
7. Focus on being the best version of yourself
independently While your significant other is away, you shouldn’t sit around waiting for them to return. You still have your life to focus on too. You are your first priority. Take this time to stay productive and grow into your best self. Whether it’s working, learning a new skill or a hobby hanging out with your friends, taking care of yourself or even planning the next time you are together. And when you do see your significant other, you will actually feel much more excited and more refreshed to see them and to tell them all the amazing things you did that day. Last but not least.
8. Setting realistic expectations
believe this is the most important aspect in any long-distance relationship or even close-distance relationship. It is setting the boundaries and the conditions of your relationship moving forward. It is ensuring both you and your significant other are on the same page and have a mutual understanding of what goes into your relationship. If the boundaries or the conditions change at all in any time of the relationship, it’s important to re-engage the conversation and have them reset. Keep your expectations reasonable.
If you expect to go into a long-distance relationship where everything works out perfectly, you never have any misunderstandings, you don’t have to put any effort into it at all, then you are setting yourselves up for failure. Understand the situation and how you guys fall into the situation. If you know your significant other is going to be away for a while and they won’t have access to a phone, how will you maintain your levels of communication?
How will you mentally prepare for it? Those are just some things to consider and think about. Remember to keep an open mind. Stay flexible. And stay adaptable. Things change all the time, especially in the military. Setting these expectations ahead of time can prevent whole lot of heartache. And lastly, when you guys are together, make every single moment special.